Dead Tired
by IdleWit
Summary: Mainly a fic about Cordy and Doyle, funny one shot fic, read it for a laugh.


**Dead Tired**

"I'm dead tired," Angel yawned.

"Was that intended to be a pun," Cordelia asked, glancing up from the paperwork she was doing, sprucing up her resume, namely telling a few white lies about the famous people she knew. "Because you know, it really wasn't funny."

"Don't be so harsh on the man," Doyle said, "Everyone's allowed to use expressions now and then, it's a free country."

"I'm not a man," Angel pointed out, raising his head up from the couch to look at Doyle, who was resting against a wall.

"Hey," Doyle said defensively, raising his hands up, "I was trying to defend you, doesn't that count for anything."

"No," Cordelia said, "A puny little man such as yourself doesn't really count when it comes to defense, even for non- super strong vampires."

"Hey I wouldn't go that far," Doyle said, grinning, "I mean, a damsel such as yourself has to have some use for me, I can get pretty mean in a tough situation."

"Yeah," Cordelia said, raising her eyebrows, "Mean as in running and screaming like a girl."

"Hey, I've never screamed like a girl in my life…excluding that once…or maybe twice…. Anyway the point is I mainly just run." Doyle babbled, trying to maintain a heroic image and failing miserably.

"Yeah, and that helps in defense how?" Cordy pointed out, turning back to her paperwork.

"Well…." There was a pause while Doyle tried to think of something plausible, "…You know…. I can…. get help."

"It took you a while," Cordelia muttered, "Geese; I was just about to give you one, out of pity."

"I may not be good with words but I'm good with actions," Doyle said, putting up his hands in a karate stance, or at least a replica of the one he saw on Karate kid.

"Please," Cordelia said, looking up and rolling her eyes, "First of all that stance is all wrong, your hands are supposed to be a lot lower, and secondly there are too many puns to use for that statement, that I'm not even going to dignify it with an answer."

"Excuse me," Doyle said, straightening up and settling his jacket, "But I have happened to learn this stance from a very reliable source."

"Namely Karate Kid," Cordelia muttered loud enough for him to hear.

"No," said Doyle, trying to think fast, but his foray wasn't exactly thinking fast under intense pressure, he was never going to impress Cordelia like this. "Angel, I got it from Angel…yeah." He just hoped Angel was quick on the uptake, and didn't feel the need to crush him in front of Cordelia."

"Angel?" Cordelia said skeptically, her perfectly shaped eyebrows were almost disappearing into her hairline. "Yeah," Doyle said, slightly defensive, "You know, he's been teaching me a few things, well more like we've been teaching each other a few things. He's used a lot of my moves while fighting, saved his life a few times."

Cordelia snorted, "Like when and what?" she said, disbelieving. "How to fall?"

"Yesterday," Doyle said, drawing inspiration from the move he had seen Angel perform last night. "Remember that thing he did where he back flipped off the tree and shoved the stake right into that vamp, yep I taught him that."

"Fine then," Cordelia said, giving him a smirk, "Give us a demonstration."

"Couldn't possibly," Doyle said, feeling slight panic rise up in him.

"Thought so," Cordelia said in a smug voice and turned back to her paper work.

"Oh, I would, it's just that I could hurt you, you see, and it takes a lot of mental concentration, meditating and the like."

"Right," Cordelia sighed impatiently, "Now that we've established you're a weak man who's delusional about it, why don't I get right back to writing about, how I'm on first name basis with Johnny Depp."

"Since when? And I resent that." Doyle said.

"Since I had a thought he was the one I was going to marry in seventh grade. I mean if that doesn't allow you to call a guy by his first name, what does? And I don't see why because it was true." Cordelia exclaimed.

"I think you're missing the inner meaning of that first name basis thing," Doyle said, "And if you don't believe me about Angel and I sharing tactics then ask him yourself."

"I thought it was moves?" Cordelia said, looking up.

"Well we meddle in a lot of things, us warriors," Doyle supplied; giving what he hoped was a knowing look.

"Look," Cordelia said, "The only warrior your of, is a 'pint of Guinness' and being the biggest loser, and I don't mean that in a weight loss way. Anyway I don't have to ask Angel anything, because I've seen him do that stance a hundred times and he has his hands lower, I repeat what I said before, Karate Kid wannabee. Just learn to live with being a useless weak male and move on with your pathetic life."

"Hey I wouldn't call it that pathetic, and I think you just don't want to ask Angel because you're afraid of being wrong, which you are," Doyle supplied.

"Am not, but if asking him and making him confirm that you're a loser is what it will really take to make you leave me alone, I'm happy to comply," Cordelia said, flashing him a smile, "Angel," she called to him where he was hidden from their view by the couch. Both of them, heated in their conversation, had momentarily forgotten he was even there.

There was no answer though, "Angel," Doyle called too, he moved towards him, with Cordy rising from her comfortable seat, extremely annoyed about it, and following him. When they looked down they saw a peacefully resting boss, chest rising and falling, and for some lengthy periods of time staying still all together.

"Awww how cute, he's asleep," Cordy said, she bent over, settling his collar, "ANGEL," she screamed in his ear. Doyle jumped, Cordelia was certainly surprising. Angel, though, did no more then snore a bit and turn over.

"I want Pure fire," he whined in his sleep.

"Who's Pure fire?" Cordelia asked, straightening up and looking at Doyle.

"I'm guessing either an attractive mistress, or a pony," he said, shrugging.

"Gees, he doesn't wake up when you want him to, does he," she slapped him hard on the shoulder; all Angel did was roll over again.

"I want some food," he muttered this time.

"Must be hungry," Doyle said, "Maybe if we order some Chinese…" he didn't finish the sentence, as he got interrupted by the sleeping vampire.

"Pass me the human," then a growl erupted from his throat, one which made both Doyle and Cordy jump. They both backed away from him extremely quickly.

"I think I'll take an early lunch break. Take you up on that offer of Chinese?" Cordy said, grabbing her bag off the desk and heading for the door.

"Okay," Doyle said, just as quickly, there was a momentary struggle as they both tried to squeeze through the door at the same time, which Cordelia won, then they were down the stairs as quick as a flash and into the underground car park.

"You better be paying," Cordelia said, as they reached her car, "Because I left my purse in there."

"Uh…yeah…. Bout that," Doyle said, rubbing his neck awkwardly, "Well you see I left my wallet in there too…"

"Doyle," Cordelia snapped impatiently, "You actually need a wallet in the first place, with real, and not Monopoly money in it, to leave it anywhere."

"Good point," Doyle said.

"So what do we do now," Cordelia wailed, "I'm hungry but I'm not going back in there."

"We could always go to my place," Doyle said, "I could whip up something with the things in my fridge."

"Doyle, an alcoholic drink doesn't count as lunch," Cordelia pointed out patiently.

"Oh… yeah," Doyle said, hiding his slight hurt. "You know there's more to me then alcohol."

"Fine then," Cordelia said, "But you're going to whip up something in _my_ place, where Phantom Dennis can kick you out if you annoy me."

"Okay," Doyle said brightly, his ideal thoughts of having a meal with Cordelia hadn't really included a ghost, and he had envisioned it happening as or during a date, but a man had to take what he could get.

"And were going to drive Angel's car," she said, Angel's car keys appearing out of her bag. "I need to file my nails, and there's no way your driving_ my_ car."

"I actually think theft is considered a felony," Doyle pointed out.

"It's not theft, it's borrowing," Cordelia said as if it was a well known fact, "And don't worry, I have a plan, if Angel finds out I'll blame it on you." She walked off towards the black GTX.

"Well that makes me feel a whole lot better," Doyle muttered, envisioning Angel ripping his head off if he found out…. No, probably _when_ he found out, they'd taken his car. '_Well at least I'll die happy, knowing I ate with the lovely Miss Chase,_' he thought, following Cordelia.

Angel opened his eyes a crack once he heard them running down the staircase, he got up, yawning and smiling to himself. He had originally fallen asleep, until he had woken up to hear the two of them still bickering, right in front of him, about some woman come pony. The rest of it had been an act just to get there bickering out of his range, so he could have a decent rest, after all he was dead tired.

He ran his hand through his ruffled hair, squeezing his head in an attempt to make his head stop throbbing so violently. It didn't help, he groaned and got up, heading for the lift, it may be slow but at least it wouldn't jarr his head so much, and the end result would be his apartment and a comfortable, soft bed.

He still grinned, despite the throbbing, to think of his well formed plan, it had worked excellently, and at least it had allowed Doyle to get to spend some quality time with Cordelia, let her learn about the human under the demon, or maybe the expression would fit more if it was the other way around.

He passed the hook on the wall, which usually held his keys, and then he stopped, frowned, backtracking. He could have sworn his keys were on that hook this morning, there shouldn't have been anything _'usually'_ about it, but his keys weren't there. It took a while for the thoughts to process through Angel's aching head, but after a few minutes, "CORDELIA," he shouted a shout which carried through the whole building.

"Hurry up and drive," Cordelia screamed, jamming her foot hard on top of Doyle's as he started the car, just as they heard the yell.

"He's gonna' kill us, he's gonna' kill us," Doyle said, as they heard him pounding down the stairs, and then he had reached the entrance to the parking lot.

"Hurry up, hurry up," Cordelia muttered, casting fervent glances behind her as Angel started to run towards them, trying to concentrate on the square of light which led to the main road.

"Come back here," Angel roared, but just as he did, they were through, narrowly missing a Toyota and screeching in order to catch the turn, and then they were accelerating away. The vampire stopped at the edge of the light, growling and holding his aching head.

"Maybe while were eating we should look through some jobs," Doyle said, grinning and feeling like a child getting away with something extremely naughty.

"Speak for your self," Cordelia said disdainfully, "I already have a budding acting career, all _I_ need to do is hire some protection, attach a security system to my place…. You better not be cooking anything too fattening, this figure isn't like this without a lot of sweat, hard work, and diet foods."

"Okay," Doyle said, "I'll try to hold all the nice tasting things; I guess chocolate sprinkles are out then."

"Oh, who am I kidding," Cordelia suddenly uncharacteristically wailed, "Were dead anyway, sprinkle as much chocolate as you want."

Doyle patted her with one arm, while trying to keep from crashing the car, as she began to wail on his shoulder, "Were dead, were dead."

"A whole chocolate bar it is then," He muttered, which resulted in more wailing, it wasn't exactly what he had in mind for him and Cordelia's first…lunch, and he could now understand what Angel meant by dead tired.


End file.
